My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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