the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
