Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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