Nicole vs. Life
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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