Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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