Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
