Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
