She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
