i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
