I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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