Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
