i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize