Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
