I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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