she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
