there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize