I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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