I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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