she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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