Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
