I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
