If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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