he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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