then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
