my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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