I didn't shave. On purpose
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
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Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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