wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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