I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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