there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
we're so committed to being not committed
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
