The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i came on her dog
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
