I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize