corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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