Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
