ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
