just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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