If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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