i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
