nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
