I just cut my nipple shaving
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
