I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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