I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
bring money and cleavage
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
