Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
