a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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