Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
