OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
