So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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