Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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