no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I understand Curling. That high.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
