it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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