I'm jealous of your bromance
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
