Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
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dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
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Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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