So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
