Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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