Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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