Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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