windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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