i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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