So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
