I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
