After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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