Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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