I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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